Last night I made one of my female friends strip in front of her dorm building and fuck herself with a cucumber. Thoughts?

Sounds a little weird to me. I would think you’d have been the one fucking her. Cucumbers are not very fun to fuck. They are prickly at first and then your vagina mushes them up because they aren’t very strong either. Next time, bend her over and give her some real dick while she’s naked in front of her dorm. Okay?